3 min read
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Most caregiving workshops or articles concentrate on the role of caregiving or how to care for yourself along the way, but what do you do when caregiving ends? Just as entering the role of caregiving is a process, so is exiting that role for whatever reason. Everyone will have to find their way through the process. The key is taking small steps to re-enter life again.

Physical Care

Because you were so attuned to your loved one’s needs while often neglecting your own, it is time to reflect on how this behavior impacts your well-being. Stress, time commitment, and the feeling of being on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, often cause caregivers to develop unhealthy behaviors. These unhealthy behaviors include smoking, drinking, drugs, poor eating, poor sleeping, and lack of exercise.

As you transition from caregiving, focus your attention on caring for yourself. Start by eating balanced meals, staying active, and getting plenty of rest. Although it may take time for your sleep quality and routine to return to pre-caregiving days, stick to your sleep schedule. Be sure to turn off electronic devices and manage your stress level. Don’t forget that eating right and staying active also contribute to better sleep.

Emotional Care

Moving on after caregiving comes to an end requires time and patience. You will have to deal with a range of emotions as you transition to the next stage. These emotions can include guilt, depression, loneliness, relief, sadness, or anger. You may also have negative thoughts (rumination) as you grieve the loss of a loved one. Remember that grieving is an individual experience that cannot be forced or hurried.

As you grieve, don’t pull away from others. Find comfort in talking to and just being around family and friends. It is also important to distinguish the difference between grief and depression. Intense grief from losing a loved one can lead to depression or worsen existing depressive symptoms. Seek professional help and support to feel better if you find it difficult to perform everyday activities or feel that life has no meaning.

Financial Obligations

Despite having to struggle with grief, you might have to deal with financial issues pertaining to the estate of a deceased loved one. Because an individual’s debt becomes a part of their estate, you might have to figure out the debt obligations of a deceased loved one.

Generally, you are not responsible for their debt. You are responsible only if you co-signed a loan, are a joint-account owner, or are responsible for settling the deceased individual’s estate and did not follow Alabama’s probate laws.

The individual named in the will (executor) or appointed by the court (personal representative/ administrator) is legally responsible for paying the debts. The executor uses the estate assets to pay the debts. If the debt exceeds assets, assets are sold, and money is used to pay the debts in the order of priority established by the state. Regardless of the remaining debt, the executor is not responsible for using their money to pay off the debt.

If you do not have the power to pay the debt, debt collectors can neither discuss the debt with you nor ask you to pay the debt. They can, however, contact you only once to get the contact information of the executor. Debt collectors may call and try to get you or others to pay the debt of your dead loved one. Remember that you did not make the debt, so legally, you are not obligated to pay off the debt. Seek the advice of a lawyer and a certified public accountant as you work through your loved one’s finances.

The Next Chapter

Caregivers often struggle with adjusting to life after caregiving ends. Not only does the loss of a loved one create an empty space in their lives, but the loss of the caregiver role also leaves a major void. During this transition, caregivers need to rebuild their lives, so spend time redefining yourself, your roles, and social relationships. Addressing the challenge of redefining yourself or learning to live again after caregiving comes to an end includes strategies, such as:

  • Finding purpose in life by letting go of the caregiver role and creating a new focus.
  • Re-establishing positive relationships.
  • Finding meaningful things to do to use up free time such as hobbies, volunteering, taking classes, etc.

Remember recovery after caregiving is a process and everyone is different. Find the courage and the strength to do what works best for you.